St Edward’s New Addington
Remembrance Sunday
8th November 2026
Revd Stephen Wright
Wisdom 6:12-16 I Thessalonians 4:13-end Matthew 25:1-13
In these days of Whatsapp, texting and social media we’ve got used to plenty of abbreviations and shorthand expressions. I expect you’ve come across FOMO – Fear of Missing Out. This is the phenomenon of being anxious about missing out on the exciting experiences other people are having. This fear can be debilitating if your life is ruled by it – but there’s something natural about it too. Life is precious. There are so many good things to enjoy. It’s natural that we should want a share.
Today we honour the memory of those who weren’t afraid to miss out: in fact, they were prepared to miss out in a big way – by laying their lives on the line in war. Mostly young men with their lives ahead of them. In the words of the famous epitaph, ‘For your tomorrow, we gave our today’. The memory of the terrible world wars of the twentieth century is fading, but perhaps we can still feel the emotion of this in some way. I never knew my two great-uncles who died in the first world war. But in the second world war, my father spent five years as a prisoner in camps in Germany and Poland. Thankfully, he did not have to give his life. But I wonder about all the things he felt he was missing out between the ages of twenty and twenty-five, when many young people at the time would be starting to earn a living, enjoy the freedom of adulthood, and settle down into marriage. And his friends and contemporaries who were killed missed out not only on those things, but on all that might have lain ahead.
Our faith in Jesus Christ gives us some important perspectives on this feeling or fear of missing out. When Paul writes to the church in Thessalonica, he addresses their fear that their loved ones who had died were going to miss out on the triumphant celebration when Jesus Christ returned to earth having finally conquered all evil – something they expected to happen very soon. And Paul assures them that they have no need to fear. Their loved ones who have died trusting in Christ are safe – and when Christ returns they will be raised. They will actually be first in line to join in the festivities! They won’t be in any way disadvantaged in relation to those who are still alive at the time.
Those are words of great comfort for all who have lost loved ones within the community of Christian faith. That includes Christian believers who have died in war – or in other tragic circumstances before their time. It’s easy to look at lives cut short and think: what a waste. How much they missed out. How much we have missed through losing them. And grief is right and understandable – it’s a sign of love. But Paul urges us, like the Thessalonians, not to grieve ‘as others do who have no hope’. In the resurrection life, whatever good things were missed in this life will seem like nothing. Jesus died and rose again and that opens up a whole world of joy and possibility. The very worst that can happen in this world will not have the last word.
But our Gospel reading gives the necessary flipside to this perspective. The story of the girls who didn’t have enough oil to keep their lamps alight and ended up being shut out of the wedding banquet is a warning about the need to be ready for the coming of God’s kingdom. It’s as if Jesus is saying, here is something you should be afraid of missing out on: the joy of being part of God’s reign of justice and peace. You need to take responsibility for being ready for it. Getting ready for God’s reign means being his agents in the world to bring about his justice and peace. Jesus says you should have a healthy fear of missing out on that.
The girls who were ready, who took plenty of oil, are described as ‘wise’. Our first reading was about wisdom. In the Bible wisdom doesn’t mean being clever or knowledgeable or having a high IQ. It’s that attitude of openness to God, which puts him first, thinks in all the circumstances of life about what he wants, and tries to give that priority in all our decisions and actions. And the writer of the book of Wisdom says there’s just one simple qualification for becoming wise: wanting it! You don’t have to pass an exam or jump through hoops or trek round the world. Picturing Wisdom as a person, the writer says ‘she is easily discerned by those who love her and is found by those who seek her. She hastens to make herself known to those who desire her.’
To be ready for God’s kingdom is the wise way. And there’s no need for us to miss out on the joy of it, because that wise way is open to us all. That includes kings and presidents, prime ministers and governments. Indeed, that short passage about wisdom comes straight after a warning to rulers and those in power, saying that their high status will be no protection against God’s judgement if they don’t follow his way and learn his wisdom. On Remembrance Sunday especially, we are called to pray for those in authority throughout the world, that they may seek the way of wisdom, which is the way of peace. But we also remember that we are all called to follow that way.
In the face of the terrible conflicts and cruelties and corruption that we see across the world, we must never think that we are powerless. We must never fear that we have already missed out on the chance of doing anything positive and productive with our lives. God’s kingdom is dawning and he still holds out to us the chance to be ready for it, through living each day in humble wisdom. And as we grasp hold of the opportunities, we are also making them available to others, inviting them to share with us in the great celebration.
So for the believer in Jesus, it’s not death we need to fear – whether our own or that of our loved ones in the community of faith. His resurrection reverses all the negativity and waste and the sense of missing out that an early death, especially, brings. Rather, we need a healthy fear of missing out on God’s kingdom itself – enjoying the blessings of being part of his rule which puts all wrongs to right, reconciles enemies and brings fulfilment to people of all races, backgrounds and situations. So we seek his wisdom, for our rulers and ourselves, and live in confident hope, as we start to taste even now the riches of his heavenly banquet.